The carrot list

Before I got pregnant with my first, I was overweight, but in good shape and eating healthily. I then gained 85 lbs. throughout my pregnancy. After having baby #1, I only lost about 40 of those 85 lbs. I didn't want pictures taken of me and I hid behind the camera, which was easy to do because I am a photographer by hobby. When I got pregnant with baby #2 (three years after the first), I vowed not to gain much weight. This ended up being easy to do because I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I gained 20 lbs. and quickly took it off the month following my little guy's arrival into the world.

Since then, I've lost another 20-30 lbs. I say, 20-30 because I keep losing 10 and gaining it back. While I feel a little better about myself than I did the three years after my first, I am ready to get the rest of this weight off of me. I don't even know where my final goal lies, but have some small goals that I've set for myself. I'm not ready to talk actual numbers (read: how fat I actually am), but hopefully I will get the nerve to talk about that in the future. I don't even know who will read this, but we'll just pretend it's the whole world and sharing your weight with the whole world is scary.

I will, however, share my carrot list. I've wanted to do this for a while now, but you know how things go. (As a busy mom, I get shoved down to the bottom of my own to do list.) My carrot list is a list of reasons for wanting to get healthy (and lose weight). I have BIG reasons and little reasons, but I wanted to keep track of all of them. I thought if I wrote them all down in one place and really took the time to think about them ("meditate" on them might be a better word) then I might have the strength to really change a deeper part of myself and get through the tough parts of this journey. So here are some of the carrots on my carrot list:

1) Wear my wedding rings again
2) Shop in any store that I want to
3) Do another triathlon
4) Be a strong mama
5) Have the desire to be in pictures with my family and friends
6) Look in the mirror and be proud
7) Be up for most physical challenges that might come up (hiking, biking, etc.)
8) Show my kids what a strong and healthy mom looks like
9) Be a hot wife
10) Have some serious muscles
11) Avoid diabetes for as long as possible (if not, always)
12) Keep my "bad knees" as healthy as possible
13) Make cheap clothes look good

I'm sure there are more and I will discover them as I continue on this journey. Wish me luck!